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18 or older only: Adult language, free speech, blasphemy and psychotic behavior. Not for the squeamish or the sensitive.
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430K
BOISE,ID -- Jan 15, 1996 -- Vowing to "put the fun back in abortion" Lamprey Systems President-For-Life Robert Carr announced the release of Lamprey Systems latest game, Operation Rescue.
Furthermore Carr stated, "This game will help to strengthen the moral fiber of America and reinforce the family values such as cannibalism, child abuse and senseless violence which made this country great."
After pausing to exchange gunfire with protesters outside of Lamprey Systems Headquarters Carr continued, "Operation Rescue also teaches the importance of recycling. To you a fetus might be an unviable tissue mass or a potential human life, but down at Newt 'N' Ralph's Abortion Depot it's all protein."
OPERATION RESCUE SPECIFICATIONS:
Apple with color or greyscale monitor, 68030 processor or better, 1 meg of RAM. Power Macintosh compatible.
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18 or older only: Adult language, free speech, blasphemy and psychotic behavior. Not for the squeamish or the sensitive.
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1.8 Megs
Not a paste! Not a gel! "Rupture The Rapture" contains over one megabyte of offensive graphics and heinous sound f/x's guaranteed to bring soothing relief to irritations caused by Christian Fundamentalism or DOUBLE your religious persecution back!
STRATEGIC DEFENSE INITIATIVE TECHNOLOGY CHEAP!
"Rupture The Rapture's" patented V.W.A.R.E. (VolksWagen, Anti-matter Railgun-Equipped) weapons system is a state-of- the-art particle accelerator capable of destroying Soviet SS-20 missiles. Imagine what it can do the average Heaven-bound Bible-Thumper!
LAUGH AT JEHOVAH!
Or any other deity foolish enough to come into your crosshairs.
YOUR MACINTOSH WANTS YOU TO KILL GOD!
"Rupture The Rapture" runs on any from the Plus to the Power with 2 megabytes of free RAM and using System 6.05 or higher. It supports both monochrome and color Macintoshes; and is guaranteed .05% venom by-weight.
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18 or older only: Adult language, free speech, blasphemy and psychotic behavior. Not for the squeamish or the sensitive.
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In yet another sign of the impending apocalypse, Lamprey Systems today announced the release of PGP 3 (Pretty Good Pornography 3.0).
The program, a major upgrade of Lamprey Systems' Porno Writer 2.0, randomly produces Penthouse Forum-type letters ranging in content from the merely obscene to the patently absurd. Users select from any of the nine storylines, supplying names, sex acts and other incriminating information to produce professional quality erotica. PGP 3 represents a major breakthrough in DTP (Desk Top Pornography).
When asked to comment on the release of PGP 3, Lamprey Systems founder Robert Carr replied, "This software wasn't released - it ESCAPED!"
PGP 3's group of prestigious beta testers supplied these comments:
PGP 3 requires a Plus or higher with 2 megabytes of free RAM and System 6.05 or higher.
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18 or older only: Adult language, free speech, blasphemy and psychotic behavior. Not for the squeamish or the sensitive.
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BOISE, ID -- October 1, 1993 -- In spite of a chorus of public outcry and several postal boxes worth of death threats, Lamprey Systems today announced the release of its F*CK 'EM! arcade game.
The HyperCard-based game, which could be described as a "Spur Posse" for the Mac, involves maneuvering your manhood through an erotic maze while scoring points for having sex with with an assortment of unlikely partners such as sheep, latex love dolls and knotholes. In addition the player must evade ex-wives, bill collectors, illegitimate children and the AIDS virus. Extra points are awarded for substance abuse and aborting babies with clothes hangers.
Lamprey Systems founder, Robert Carr said, "F*CK'EM! is a new low for Macintosh software. If my earlier games "Mormonoids From The Deep" and "MacJesus: Your Personal Savior On A Floppy Disk" dwell in the basement of BAD TASTE, then F*CK EM! resides in the sub-basement!"
F*CK 'EM! is compatible with both System 6 and 7. It requires a Plus or higher, HyperCard 2.1 or HyperCard Player 2.1, 2 megabytes free RAM and a warped sense of humor. Thorazine optional.
F*CK 'EM! is for distribution to ADULTS ONLY. Sale or exposure to minors or Mormons is prohibited.
