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Subject: P Fuck you :P
What are you thinking??
You are sick.
Do you have any idea how many people are offended by you and/or hate you?
When I came to your webpage on the suggestion of a friend, I found some things
really fuckin' funny- that Jumping Jesus On A Pogo Stick is pure genius.
But then I went to that page with the Operation Rescue and others like it.
Even I, notorious for my open-mindedness, could not stand it.
So this is all i have to say- I will make it brief-
You are a psychotic sick asshole. :P
Puck
Where are you notorious for being open-minded... Tehran?
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18 or older only: Adult language, free speech, blasphemy and psychotic behavior. Not for the squeamish or the sensitive.
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Subject: Retard
Dammit, I came to your page looking for lamprey pages for a project and WHAT
the HELL do I find?? You people are fucking sick. I don't know what you are
smoking, but you must be pretty fucked up to even THINK about programming
such shit. I am a Christian, and it scared me that I found some of the crap on your
page funny.... it just shows how easy it is for Satan to corrupt people...
I just can't believe you could think up programs like Operation Rescue. Just one
question, are you a Satanist? You must be. Bitch-fucking retard. Just wait until you
get what you deserve, buddy, just WAIT. There should be a petition to get your
page off the Web. Better yet, just take it off anyway before you get in deep shit.
You are a pervert, a psychopath, a whore-fucker, a sick retard, and I believe you
are one of Satan's greatest followers. God only knows what you do in your private
life. I don't want to know. How does it feel to be one of the most hated people on
the web?? You are soooooooo screwed up. You will burn in hell for all eternity if
you don't stop. I write for all true Christians when I say, God will get you and we will
mourn for your soul, but not for what you did. At the risk of sounding like a
preacher, repent!!! Or else go to hell where you belong and serve your master
there!!!!!
Fuck you,
Kid Death
What's wrong? Promise Keepers not let you beat your wife this week?
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18 or older only: Adult language, free speech, blasphemy and psychotic behavior. Not for the squeamish or the sensitive.
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Subject: Live! From Satan
Dear Lamprey;
I'd like you to put this up on your flame page, cuz, fuck, I live in flames,
why not have my letters end up there too?
Anyway, I wanted to just drop a little science along the path of the
righteous who have written to you and let them know that they are indeed
following the right path to heaven. They belong there. Heaven is full of
people like that who can't spell, who condemn others, and have no sense of
humor, and go around smiting those in righteous fury who they feel are
beneath their accumulated god points.
I'll let you know something about god; It* put you, the pathetic Christian
pooh-butts here just as It* put me here in hell, and put Lamprey somewhere in
a crack-dealing tenement in the bowels of that Northwest state in the shape
of a painful dildo. But god did it for entertainment, much like humans make
WWF action figures or train organutans to ride bicycles and smoke cigarettes;
in other words, for entertainment. See, It* watches us on this huge,
DVD-ready wide screen God-vision® monitor from Its God bedroom in a big cushy
God bathrobe, smoking a big God hookah, and is bored with the morons who made
it to heaven, so It* watches you assholes beat each other over the heads with
sceptres and amulets and kneel and do ridiculous shit and has Its food
brought in.
So, in my not very humble but informed opinion (fuck, I've already been to
heaven--I know what its like--they have a bunch of assholes like you there),
I have inside information that God basically is going to scrap the whole
system and throw all the boring fucks out of heaven, get some new management
and lets those of us in who entertain It* (*okay, okay, enough asterisks.
See, unlike you misinformed asshole Christian Fucknuts, I'm not sexist, and
know god cannot possibly have genitalia, as it would be useless because who's
It was gonna fuck? God wouldn't give himself useless genitalia. It's God, for
Christsakes, er, haw haw. Anyway, who would be bone? Mrs. God? Gaia? Stephen
Hawking's Black Holes? Besides, feminists needs props to, it's the only way
to get them to take their clothes off. So I call God an "it". Those who feel
they have the words to describe "it" better are fooling themselves. Get a
fucking grip).
But I digress. Anyway, I don't know why I bother, but I like to torture
righteous morons, so, to summarize, quit lambasting people who are amusing
themselves or others, and do something entertaining yourselves besides
picking each other to death, starting insipid ground wars, fucking small
boys, or else, and I'm not kidding, you're all toast. Can you for once just
rise above judgment and do something beyond judging? Don't make yourself in
God's image--make yourself entertaining so God won't kill you and not let you
into the biggest nightclub he's putting together as we speak. Get thee behind
the velvet rope, you boring fat morons.
And I'll just crack up because I think Lamprey will be the first software
house to set up in the New Heaven, right next to Heaven Hooters. Believe me,
there are worse things than burning in ash--you could end up in a place with
a bunch of assholes like yourselves for eternity. I know, because that's what
I watch on MY big-ass Devil television.
So, I'll see all you righteous fuckheads soon. I have hymnals you will sing
every day, and gossip you can repeat endlessly, and backstabbing contests
after your same bland meals based on Wonder Bread and Spam every day for
eternity. (insert demonic laugh here)
B. L. Zeebub,
Just Another MC with his fly open
I knew listening to all those Black Sabbath albums would pay off...
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From: tsanchez@mail.arc.nasa.gov (Terri Sanchez)
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
Subject: To A Fool...
Only a fool mocks the Father of heaven and of the earth. So you can come up with you smart remarks all you want. It don't change a thing when you stand before God amighty, you can't tell him you didn't know because I'm telling you now you must give you life to the Lord Jesus and change your ways. Now your held to that truth. So be a smartass now because it will be over for you soon.
Gary W,
I think it's great how NASA even lets the janitors have email accounts.
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From: artSavant@null.net (Arthur vos Savant)
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
As a Mormon sunday school teacher I felt there was no better way to
teach our class about religious persecution and the dangers of the World
Weird Web than by bringing them to your site.
We downloaded most of your dementia and were shocked at what we found.
The Bishop was so concerned about the effect on our students that he
personally invited two of the older boys for an overnight stay to
discuss their reactions. Such a sacrifice for him since he has only the
one bedroom.
Just to remind myself of the filth that is out there, I activate your
sequences each evening after a hard day of missionary work. As a result,
my performance is slipping, since I am often up all night aghast.
Yours in the saints,
artSavant USA
I guess Moroni isn't the only one blowing the golden trumpet.
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From: bmswan@fortlewis.edu
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
I ended up here looking for a tits and pussy site, you know where they
show it all, they just don't do stuff with it. I saw that weirdo stuff
you had on your site, and I got it off anyway.
I mean, whatever, but after I was done I felt kinda weird. I don't why
I'm telling you this, but maybe you shouldn't post some of this stuff
that brings us back to our more animal drives/motivations. I know you
are just trying to help, but once you're done it feels kinda weird. I
am not a pervert.
You are one now...
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From: TimFlavin <TimFlavin@aol.com>
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
Uh . . . lesse . . . um .. .. you're not a very good person.
So there.
You really know how to hurt a guy!
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From: JNeff95@aol.com (JNeff95)
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
You are stupid and you are going to burn to ashes forever. You don't even know
what this stuff means do you? Did you know how many people want your page off
the web? A lot. because you talk trash and I can tell you dont know what 666
means. What kind of stupid person could write a web page on something he
doesn't know about? you are a loser and nobody likes your page. How does it
feel to have the last rated web page in the United States?
From: Lana Naji from Syria
PS: I know God is real and one day you will too.
How does it feel to be writing from a backwards, theocratic hellhole?
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From: CEBO-1@webtv.net
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
i just wanted to tell you that you are a dipshitted fuck. write a page
about something better than this. yeah go ahed and laugh. if you only
knew what hell was like. try holding a lighter up to your fucking tounge
and see how that feels. in hell you dont die. nope, you just sit there
and burn, forever. so do something productive of your life instead of
having your thumb stuck up your ass.
have a nice day
To me, Hell is a place full of people like you.
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From: JNeff95@aol.com (JNeff95)
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
Subject: I Hate You...
because you have the top ten commendments and turn them demonic.
by the way, they are not funny either
They don't have to be funny. The original commandments are laughable already.
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From: Bgman@webtv.net (Gerald Kunferman)
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
You suffer from advanced B&G madnest, also you pumped out most of your
brain cells in your
youth, via penis. The best and only thing you dream about is a huge
cock up your poo-poo hole.
I think the only dick around here losing brain cells is you.
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From: CrazyOne3c@aol.com
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
Dear Pigs
First of all I cant believe you fools have nothing better to do then put up a worthless site like "Web page of the damned".Theres nothing funny about abortion your page was sick.Then I see the rest of your garbage.Stupid sex games and immature bullshit.But the biggest peace of shit was your page on Jesus.Where do you punks get off disrespecting Jesus.I spit on all you worthless Mother Fuckers
Sincerely
Rey Torres
Oxnard California, I'm on Colonia Street visit me anytime.
You hang out on Colon Street? Is that anything like Castro Street?
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From: buckster@tm.net.my (Robert Parr)
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
what are you guys trying to prove? I dont call this humor I think that you guys are just sick and insane. Your the ones who are going to hell, did you ever think about that?
YOU GUYS ARE DEMENTED AND SCREWED IN THE HEAD!!
GET A LIFE!!!
YOUR FULL OF SHIT!!!!!!!
Your condemor,
lknqoeir
Real christians don't use spell checkers!
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From: Dellis3546@aol.com
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
Your so lame if there is a God your fucking fucked Show some imagination
God can heal the lame. It's the brain dead, like yourself, who are out of luck.
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From: 73674@dub-mail-svc-1.compuserve.com
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
After looking around I can see you're just another phony who hasn't a clue as to what an "angel of light" is supposed to be up to. Sure you'll land in hell but the boss is going to be so pissed at you. This isn't the kind of stuff that damns people.
This is clearly human rebellion. Hell's king is a deceiver.
This site is a mess -- learn from the best. Check out what our politicians are doing, some of the pop-socio/psychologists...you know "I'm ok, You're OK" Your a marginal puff in a much bigger war -- may as well hang it up.
The true damage is done when people are told that there is nothing really srong with them after all. This crud clues everyone in to the black heart in their chests. BAD JOB!
If you're going to live out "do what thou wilt" fill in the hole and live on the surface. The battle is in the skies -- ideologies/emotions...
And don't screw around in the face of the true Chrilstian believers -- the ones who know the power of postration. You have no ground to stand on. You'll know the powerful ones just by standing around them you can feel the spiritual dynamite oozing out of them and seeping into your being. Once you are in their presence enough time, all at once or collectively, you're on your way into their camp. Sort of like body snatchers. You'll be a whole new creature. If they are the praying kind you're a goner quicker.
I'm sure you've clued a few onto your case just by planting this web site. That's why true satanists are slick. THey seem like the nice guy but they have just enuff of a lie in the majority of truth they speak to deceive even the best of the best.
Good luck -- I'm sure we'll see you in church hands in the air praising the Lord Jesus Christ soon. I can almost hear their prayers for you now....listen.
Gosh, and all this time I thought that stuff oozing out was hypocrisy.
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From: godslove@aol.com
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
Subject: DO NOT DOWNLOAD "OPERATION RESCUE"
This is the most tasteless game i have ever seen in my entire life (and keep in mind i DID have an IBM before ) in it you must eat little baby fetuses, and when you goto the ABOUT window, it shows a bunch of babies pilled up with blood and knives, with some fat mother fucker smiling looking at them.
Please do me a favor and don't download this game.
Thanks
-Dave
Have some respect! That "fat fucker" is my mother!
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From: rkjones@bsu.edu
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
I hate you! exon YOU! You D'AMATO! You EXONing NUNN! You witless mKYL of cheap KYL used antimatter! You dull-witted bunch of lame KYL dog meat! You crooked bucket of pud chewing pig entrails! You BOND smelling clustering of ignorant spine-less twits! You drool streaming NUNNBUNN of lazy smelly Vogon underwear! You blone batch of bad breathed elephant GOD! You indolent pool of nonexistent frog fat! You sROSEnly stack of retina-slKINGg shark snot! You selfish REED of double ugly nasal hairs! You snot GOREing humungus ROSE KOHLs of KYL GOREing used antimatter! You KYL kissing dribbly blob of HOKE underwear! You neurotic spoonful of rabbit raping RUSH drops! You four-legged twine of flea-bitten gorilla biscuits! You bad breathed bucket of COATS KYLed sinus drainage! You Bondant lunk of FCC twisting glowing worm antenne!You pitiful hill of polluted worn out maxi pads! You rabbit raping NUNNpile of snorting FCC milk! You fudge laden BYRD full of clammy stable sweepings! You DODDlipped pustule of COATS-like GRAHAM crickets! You half-witted BOXER of HELMS spliting compost cakes! You recycled twine of trans-WARNER leprousy scabs! You dorky BURR of septic dorks! You preposterous toilet bowl of seething hippo RUSHs! You zooROBERTSONc GORTONl lump of dead leprousy scabs! You plebeian NUNNBUNN of slime dripping DODD lips! You opinionated pot of NUNN smelling dog meat! You lame KYL monkey's intestine of snorting barrel of leprocy scabs! You higher than hell excuse for dismal underwear! You incompetent sack of moth-eaten GOD cakes! You tedious crock of horn COXmed chicken guts! You NUNN smelling jizz-sack of dormant mule froth! You vermin craving puddle of RUSHless REID juice! You clueless froth of GRAHAM sniffing defecation worms! You inactive spoonful of FCC eating GOD JFKs! You RUSH MINKing vat of insufficient fat hick PELL! You inactive douchbag full of RUSH MINKing REID juice! You polluted DOLEGOREing pool of miserable sweat socks! You isopurple-alcohol-GOREing glop of soggy whale waste! You NICKLESed mKYL of FCC eating fairy EXONs! You trashy BONDBUNN of SHELBY GOREin HELMS wrinkles! You half-witted wheelbarrel full of vile GOD! You uncultured NUNNBUNN of EXONJFKded cheesey discharge! You FCC twisting GREGG of blonde whale waste! You blithering NIXONful of nerd NUNN ROTH suffocation! You DODD GOREing herpe full of irrational phlegm! You simmering cake of hair pulling igno farts! You lumpy conglomeration of scuzzy EXONWAMPs! You useless pustule of DODD-EXONerific moose entrails! You psychotic bag of fossilized nasal hairs! You unsightly excuse for EXONing sweat socks! You hallucinating glop of pre-pubescent armpit hairs! You zero SOCKS-count GOD shooting pustule of BOND smelling dandruff flakes! You scroungy NIXONful of animal bopping fag rejects! You dirty lot of unspeakable foot fungus! YouDOLE spitting conglomeration of rancid kidney bags! You crooked lot of KYL kissing DODD foam! You inane BYRD full of bubbly carrion pies! You trifling heap of malignant Mugatu dung! You acne-covered bite in the KYL old cheesey discharge! You aWARNER MACKJFK of appalling carrion pies! You maggot eaten twine of bubbly TWA barf bags! You NICKLESed NUNNpile of DODDloving GOD JFKs! You wang yanking crusty BYRD full of oblivious FORDs! You underGOPed pustule of BATThering pigeon bombs! You ugly-KYLed puddle of maliced airWAMPs! You rat HEFLINing blob of dumb-as-NUNN HATCH crust! You moronic GOD JFK of desecrated nad jelly! You bullNUNN spurting DODDBUNN of deeply disturbed barf curds! You gross GOD JFK of cantankerous nad jelly! You chiwawa DODD EXONin splattering of freeze dried carrion pies! You SABO eating froth of lice infested D'AMATOs! You dusky lower intestine full of corpulent EXONtwats! You corpse EXONing loaf of KIMinless rotting armidillo entrails! You KYL GOREing mKYLof pointless swamp slime! You NUNN faced bowl of crooked gorilla biscuits! You MACK lipped lot of FCC shaped RUSHHYDE! You antisocial puss bubble of HELMS spliting EXONs! You ungodly bundle of pitiful gay rights activist phlegm! You crooked-toothed pail of fusty slug slime! You plebeian toilet bowl of dumbKYL compost! You dilapidated GOD BUNN of naieve chicken guts! You crochety rotted BYRD full of puny NICKLESs! You disgusting sGOD GOREing BYRD full of douching navel lint! You mortified bucket of animal BASSing pimple pus! You fatuous mKYL of NUNN pumping barrel of leprocy scabs! You herniated monkey's intestine of deranged flamming MCCAINs! You wormy-KYLed hat of detCOXented rotting herring retinas! You REID gulpin BYRD full of SHELBY cheeked sewer seepage! You marred monkey's intestine of loathsome MACK mold!
So, are you trying to tell me something?
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From: GOD1@premier1.net (GOD)
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
Your sight is sub par .I cant beleive you would give so called
christians the time of day.Whats the matter one of them rapture fools
screw your old lady.As far as your porn you must be a closet gay to
care.While your swimming in the shit dont worry no one steps there.Bring
the rest of your kind with you and give up your mac for a pc.Mac rules
and you dont...GOD
And on the Eighth Day, God flunked English Composition...
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From: mythmaster@geocities.com (Necromancer)
To: lamprey@lamprey-systems.com
Man who the hell wouldn't like these games man? Only a dickhead would
flame you guys, man, you guys make the most kick ass games ever! Damn
your games rule! MUAHAHAHAAA!! Satan has come to kill you all (I'm
talkin to the shitheads who don't like your games) and he'll like eat
you and spit out idunno your body parts and stuff! Nyahaha! Get a life
you geeky pricks! Hahaha fuckin Jesus followers! You fuckin retards, man
if you don't like this stuff, don't come to the page! What a bunch of
retarded gimped ass shit skiddin pussy suckin bum fuckin lamers!
It's great to have high friends in low places...
