18 or older only: Adult language, free speech, blasphemy and psychotic behavior. Not for the squeamish or the sensitive.
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Robert Carr: Threat or menace?
- R. Carr, the senior programmer and rumored to the ringleader of Lamprey Systems,
- is currently being sought by authorities on several counts of laughing during the wrong
- parts of a motion picture. One-time owner of "Uzi's R Us" discount automatic weapons
- for children,he renounced his entrepreneural tendencies stating, "I don't want to be
- anything that soundslike something you step in." Forsaking the material world, Carr is
- currently seeking spiritual purity by subsisting on Prestone Anti-Freeze and Frito's.
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Considering that everyone uses Windows, why aren't there Windows versions of your games?
Yeah, and in the 15th century everyone had lice. Blow it out your AUTOEXEC.BAT, WinPig.
Where does Lamprey Systems stand on protecting children from online pornography?
I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, my little friends and myself would have given anything to have been able to download pictures of nekkid women. But in those pre-digital days, we forced to obtain our pornography from that den of depravity known as the "back of Dad's closet." I'd guess that probably the major harm caused by viewing pornography, is that gives kids unrealistic expectations about their future sex partners. I mean gaping at airbrushed super models doesn't really prepare you for the grim reality of nipple hair, bad breath, droopy breasts, acne or tummy bulges. Maybe if we truly cared about kids we'd let them download GIF's of naked suburban housewives, so they would know what the future REALLY looks like.
Do you find your work at all disturbing?
Hey, I opened up the NewsWeek the other day and saw pictures of stacks of liquefying corpses, eyes eaten by birds, oozing into the ground. Do you think I'm really gonna be worried that my games might hurt someone's feelings?
What are your goals?
I want to offend one portion of the population while making another laugh. I want to put a smile on the face of everybody's who's bored and horrified with this society.
What is your favorite music or album?
I'm about the same age as Sid Vicious (you figure it out) and listen to quite a bit of "classic punk" - Sex Pistols, Cramps, Plasmatics, DK's, Ramones etc. I also listen to Siouxsie and the Banshees, Iggy Pop, Laurie Anderson, Kate Bush, Mojo Nixon and The Dead Milkmen.
What kind of a relationship do you have with God?
As best I can figure, God operates a protection racket somewhat similar to the Mob. (Worship me or burn forever in everlasting torment - but don't let me influence you, you have free will so you can pick which one you want.)
If there is a God, then we need to have a crash program devoted to figuring out how to kill him/her/it.
