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V-CHIP CONTENT WARNING: THIS WEB SITE IS RATED: R, V, NPC, RI, S, I13.
[For processing by the required-by-1998 V-chips, those accessing this page must set their V-chip to "42-0666." I will not be held responsible for information incorrectly filtered-out by a V-chip that has been by-passed, hot-chipped, or incorrectly programmed.]
***WARNING!*** It has become necessary to warn potential readers of my web pages before they proceed further. This warning may not fully protect me against criminal or civil proceedings, but it may be treated as a positive attempt to obey the various and increasing numbers of laws.
*Under the ***TELECOM ACT OF 1996***, minor CHILDREN (under the age of 18) may not read or download from these web pages under any circumstances. If you are under 18, you must EXIT from this web site NOW. Also, if you are developmentally disabled, irony-impaired, emotionally traumatized, schizophrenic, suffering PMS, affected by Humor Deprivation Syndrome (HDS), or under the care of a doctor, then the TELECOM ACT OF 1996 may apply to you as well, even if you are 18. If you fall into one of these categories and are not considered competent to judge for yourself what you are reading, EXIT from this web site NOW.
*Under the UTAH PROTECTION OF CHILDREN ACT OF 1996, those under the age of 21 may not access this web site. All residents of Utah, and Mormons elsewhere, must install the M-Chip.
*Under the PROTECTION OF THE REICH laws, residents of Germany may not view or download from these web pages.
*Under the MERCIFUL SHIELD OF ALLAH (Praise be to Him!) holy interpretations of the Koran of the following countries (but not limited to this list) you may not access this web site if you are a FEMALE OF ANY AGE: Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Egypt, Jordan, Sudan, Libya, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Algeria, Lebanon, Morocco, Tunisia, Yemen, Oman, Syria, Bahrain, and the Palestinian Authority. Non-female persons may also be barred from accessing this web site, depending on the settings of your I-Chip.
*Under the proposed CHINESE INTERNET laws, covering The People's Republic of China, Formosa, Hong Kong, Macao, Malaysia, and parts of several surrounding territories, the rules are so nebulous and unspecified that I cannot say whether you are allowed to view or download from these web pages. Thus, you must SUBMIT any file you wish to download to your local authorities for further inspection.
*In Singapore, merely by ACCESSING this web site you have violated the will of Lee Kwan Yu. Report to your local police office to receive your caning.
*Finally, if you are barred from contact with the Internet, or protected by court order from being disturbed by thoughts which may disturb you, or covered by protective orders, it is up to you to adjust the settings of your V-Chip to ensure that you are unable to access the information available at this web site.
